Ach, Wunderbar!…“The Handshake, part 2”

So back to the handshaking jibba jabba...

I know this real cool head, J-Stax, who does a triple pound (or is it only a double? I was once in a long argument over which was socially acceptable and which was not, the double or the triple, and we figured that it was divided by race, with Stax being an anomaly-but he’s so cool, it doesn’t matter). I don’t think I could get away with a triple pound. Unless there’s a girly way to do “daps and hugs.”

I’ve been roadtesting various handshakes to see what works best. Luke advises a big windup with a reared-back thumb, so there’s no mistaking the intent and you hit the taint and lock properly. Again, great on a 6-foot-forever guy but awkward on a small Asian girl. I’ve done the limp fish fingers, which works since you only give them fingers, no thumb, but I always hear someone berating me in German, and I just don't carry enough arrogant disdain to pull it off. Sometimes I go with a stronger version of the limp fish, the strictly over the top, since it provides a great deal of control without the repulsion (because really, if someone gives you the limp fish, that’s how they feel about you), but again, there are dominance and alpha dog issues there that aren’t really me. I don’t believe in the up and under, unless I’m really trying to work someone and will use that to segue to a two-hander. See, that handshake and similar ones, usually used exclusively by politicians and diplomats, break the normal time limit on the handshake. Because we all know that there’s a proper length of time to a handshake and it gets very awkward if that time is abbreviated or elongated. Gah-maybe I should just go with the pound.

Cool Hand Luke

Older than I Once Was, Younger than I Feel