I'll admit it - I totally drive like an old Asian lady. Mainly because I am an old (relatively) Asian lady. Also, because I get there when I get there....I just don't particularly feel like I need to get there at the speed of light. I just need to get there at a reasonable 5-10mph over the speed limit.
I'd like to think I'm a patient driver. I let other people into the lane and I give cyclists plenty of room. Unless you're being a jackass and you're doing something stupid like gawking at Amish laundry on the side of the road and going 20mph on a 55 mph state highway. In that case, you deserve a honk.
Ahh, the honk - so much can be communicated with such an obnoxious noise. A short abrupt honk says, "watch out, buddy". A definite warning but still somewhat friendly. The duration of the honk, of course, is directly proportional to either the amount of road rage that has built up and/or the ineptitude of the driver being honked at.
But what's the honking protocol for being the person behind the person behind the dumbass? Because if the person behind the dumbass isn't doing their duty it falls to me to take up the horn and let the dumbass know they're being a dumbass, right? Otherwise, it's just letting the dumbasses win, perpetuating the tyranny of of dumbassery.
But I don't want the person in front of me to think I'm being a jackass by honking at them - no, I am honking at the person in front of them (and politely reminding them to do their duty and honk as well). I feel like there should be a special honk for this, to signal to all present that someone up front is being a dumbass and to pass the honk on to the appropriate person. Like a short double tap. Can we all agree to that? Commit to the double tap and start the chain of honking.
There should also be a particular honk for trying to get the attention of someone you know who's walking down the street but doesn't see you. Because it's always so confusing - are you mad at something? Did I commit a driving foul without realizing it? What happened? Who's the dumbass? Oh, there's no dumbass - you just saw Jenny from the block and wanted to say hi. So if anyone has any ideas on what that honk would be, hit me up!
